Today brought an exciting new announcement for American artists from President Donald Trump: he’s committed to building the single largest blank canvas in history, and he needs the help of artists from all over the fifty states to Make America Beautiful Again!
There’s nothing worse than a blank, undecorated wall, and President Trump’s new program will give artists of all stripes the opportunity to leave a mark on what will surely become America’s defining monument. Spanning over 1000 miles, this one-of-a-kind program will finally put all of those out-of-work layabout artists to productive, useful work. Of course, there will be no pay for the work, as the attention this blank canvas will generate will provide nearly immeasurable exposure for the artists. In addition to the lack of monetary compensation, there will also be no housing provided, no food or water provided, no health services or daycare for those artists who have children provided, and the artists will be expected to complete their work out of the sight of anyone, because both the Border Patrol and the Minutemen will shoot on sight. I mean, you can’t expect old dogs to learn new habits.
So now is a great time to stock up on supplies. You needn’t pay for them; if anyone bothers you, just tell them that you’re part of President Trump’s “Make America Beautiful Again” program, and that Mexico is picking up the bill. Start making your plans now to head south for the winter, and to take part in this historic project! Don’t get left out, there’s only one other country that borders the United States, and plans for a second blank canvas project are tentative, at best.
So whether you’re a tagger, a writer, a painter, put up slaps or wheat-paste posters, a stenciller, a penciller, or an inker, bust out your sketchbooks and start making plans!